Call it Blogger or Youtube, I have at least three accounts on each. I´ve tried blogging so many times during the last six years but I always ended up feeling like nobody cared about my life or that I wasn´t good at this. I´ve also tried Youtube to share my hobbies with other people but the perfect image quality of some (most) youtubers made me feel like a joke. Well, my camera is not THAT bad, but it is not amazing either.
I love doing crafts so I really enjoyed making some tutorials, editing the footage and uploading those videos to Youtube. But soon I had to go back to school and, therefore, I had less time to film, edit and upload so days passed by, then weeks, and soon it will be a year since I uploaded my last video. I also enjoy recording friends/family moments so I uploaded some vlogs there too but, let´s be honest, it is pretty weird to go around talking to a camera in front of other people, imagine doing it while speaking in a different language than the one that is spoken in your country!
That was my second attempt at becoming a youtuber, the first time was back in 2009 when I was only seventeen and I had just finished high school. I ended up deleting all the videos I had uploaded to that channel because I felt a bit silly (with time I realized that what happened there was that I was terrified of any of my ex-classmates or friends finding out about my channel.)
The fate of both channels was the same, but now I´m so glad I made those videos, I´m happy to have my seventeen-year-old self, my twenty-year-old self and my present self recorded. I enjoy listening to what my problems were in high school, what I feared, what made me happy and what music and tv shows I watched back then. It´s a way of having a permanent reminder of who you were and who you wanted to be and for me it is also a way of seeing if I have achieved my goals, if I´m, somehow, making my teenage self feel proud of me.
Blogger, I have to say, was my most comfortable way of expressing myself: through words. Writing has always been a big part of my life and it is so easy for me to "spit" everything that is in my head in a sheet of paper that I, literally, write down every-single-thing I ever think of. However, as it is so easy for me to write it all, sometimes I feel I expose myself too much when writing and I have the urge of deleting it all and just keep it in my computer or in a notebook, in a safe place where nobody will ever be able to judge me or my feelings.
Youtube and Blogger definitely gave me a reason to "immortalize" my feelings, my experiences and my memories through time and that´s why I´m back here, for my thirty-year old to have a little reminder of who she exactly was.
Just in case you are curious about my youtube channel (the only one who has some of its original videos), here it is: Holifun
I vlog now too, but in spanish, so all my family can participate in the videos :)
I would really like to interact with you! Do you have a Youtube account or a Blogger account? Why did you open such account/s?
Thanks for reading (If you read it all you probably deserve an award)
Gabi
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